"Don't pull the...whatever." - Sam, after an attempt to remove his shoelace
"Put 'sex' in the by" - a quote from a Uni teacher
Lecturer: "Sentence completion tests, they're pretty self-explanatory," followed by a detailed explanation.
Business Decision Making = learning when to say "none of your business"
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Monday, July 28, 2008
The Stapler Incident
"At least two of my uni classes have 10 minutes set aside in the first session to teach you how to log onto the computers. Seems the Bachelor of IT is very thorough."
"I only realised today the Auchmuty library is pronounced 'archimede'. That's kind of like pronouncing Aristotle 'ovusplantface'."
"She's adamant."
"I'm Adam Ant."
"I have an 80% chance of passing this statistics class. But...I could just be really bad at statistics."
Apparently Joe's brother (who is at least as awesome as Joe) is working at a hotel in Sydney, and is a bilingual dude who talks to the international guests. Anyway, he only speaks French, but since he was the only bilingual person on duty when this frantic Japanese man came in, he was called down to try and figure it out.
So this Japanese man was really distressed and kept repeating the same sentence over and over, Joe's brother randomly guessed and pointed at the toilets...which was what the Japanese man was demanding! He should go on that show "The One", except he's not crap.
I was the second person to make an entendre about Tom's joystick-themed screenname. Yeah!
Naz: so what was it you were going to say?
Naz: that you are a rocket man?
Naz: that the owner of a lonely heart is much better than the owner of a broken heart? Coz someone else already said that.
"I only realised today the Auchmuty library is pronounced 'archimede'. That's kind of like pronouncing Aristotle 'ovusplantface'."
"She's adamant."
"I'm Adam Ant."
"I have an 80% chance of passing this statistics class. But...I could just be really bad at statistics."
Apparently Joe's brother (who is at least as awesome as Joe) is working at a hotel in Sydney, and is a bilingual dude who talks to the international guests. Anyway, he only speaks French, but since he was the only bilingual person on duty when this frantic Japanese man came in, he was called down to try and figure it out.
So this Japanese man was really distressed and kept repeating the same sentence over and over, Joe's brother randomly guessed and pointed at the toilets...which was what the Japanese man was demanding! He should go on that show "The One", except he's not crap.
I was the second person to make an entendre about Tom's joystick-themed screenname. Yeah!
Naz: so what was it you were going to say?
Naz: that you are a rocket man?
Naz: that the owner of a lonely heart is much better than the owner of a broken heart? Coz someone else already said that.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
What I Learned from the New Batman Movie
Batman has a lisp.
Gary Oldman has a glorious moustache.
The Joker is a crossdresser.
The US government should hire Batman to do their civilian spying.
William Fichtner kicks ass no matter what movie he's in.
Gary Oldman has a glorious moustache.
The Joker is a crossdresser.
The US government should hire Batman to do their civilian spying.
William Fichtner kicks ass no matter what movie he's in.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
"King Crimson are so repetitive and boring"
AKA Why My Sister Has Absolutely No Clue About Music
A lecturer was discussing plagiarism. (In the spirit of the topic, this is paraphrased slightly as I can't remember the actual sentence anyway.) "Of course you shouldn't only be worried about getting caught. As Newcastle students you have some ethics."
Tim Chaston: "Except the business students."
Naz: also I am legitimately concerned
Hos: I thought that said constipated
There was an article about Obama defending Israel. "Wow, Obama actually mentioned a political issue."
"The uni should set up a WAP for security."
"Just wap on a WAP."
On sniffing cappucino powder, "I hate it when I sniff powder."
"Especially when it's unintentional."
My Science-Statistics lecturer drew a diagram. There was a large circle, representing the demographic surveyed, with a bunch of little dots in it representing the individual people within. To illustrate her point she circled one of the dots and drew a line, but the line was wobbly, so it looked like a sperm entering an egg. I LOLLED
A lecturer was discussing plagiarism. (In the spirit of the topic, this is paraphrased slightly as I can't remember the actual sentence anyway.) "Of course you shouldn't only be worried about getting caught. As Newcastle students you have some ethics."
Tim Chaston: "Except the business students."
Naz: also I am legitimately concerned
Hos: I thought that said constipated
There was an article about Obama defending Israel. "Wow, Obama actually mentioned a political issue."
"The uni should set up a WAP for security."
"Just wap on a WAP."
On sniffing cappucino powder, "I hate it when I sniff powder."
"Especially when it's unintentional."
My Science-Statistics lecturer drew a diagram. There was a large circle, representing the demographic surveyed, with a bunch of little dots in it representing the individual people within. To illustrate her point she circled one of the dots and drew a line, but the line was wobbly, so it looked like a sperm entering an egg. I LOLLED
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
"megacrap.psd"
I have a (possibly short) lecturer called Chris who said the drawing of a monkey in his slideshow was his self-portrait.
A double-bass/keyboard duo played some awesomeness at the Shortland Hub.
There was a story in the newspaper Morgansan was reading about a neurotic woman who killed her husband with an antique knife. "That'd devalue the antique."
According to Hosford, he has a lecturer with the initials MDK.
The guy who was delivering Merry's beverage didn't know where he was and the coffeeshop girl said "No he's the beautiful one, that way," indicating where he sat.
"He is beautiful," was the reply.
In preparation for the Olympics, Sam and I played 'flick the Solo lid between the Solo bottle (5% lemon!) and the chips cup'.
"It'd be a lot better if real koalas were filled with caramel too."
"I'm not a medical expert but I watched this show once" - business lecturer
"Well, they say you are what you eat!"
"Then you're 5% lemon."
--
Lecturer Chris: "I get third-year design students who still are disorganised and name their files 'shit1' or 'shit2' or 'megacrap'."
A double-bass/keyboard duo played some awesomeness at the Shortland Hub.
There was a story in the newspaper Morgansan was reading about a neurotic woman who killed her husband with an antique knife. "That'd devalue the antique."
According to Hosford, he has a lecturer with the initials MDK.
The guy who was delivering Merry's beverage didn't know where he was and the coffeeshop girl said "No he's the beautiful one, that way," indicating where he sat.
"He is beautiful," was the reply.
In preparation for the Olympics, Sam and I played 'flick the Solo lid between the Solo bottle (5% lemon!) and the chips cup'.
"It'd be a lot better if real koalas were filled with caramel too."
"I'm not a medical expert but I watched this show once" - business lecturer
"Well, they say you are what you eat!"
"Then you're 5% lemon."
--
Lecturer Chris: "I get third-year design students who still are disorganised and name their files 'shit1' or 'shit2' or 'megacrap'."
Monday, July 14, 2008
"He used that...ironing thing?" "An iron."
I left my Canterbury Bulldogs thongs in the laundry, and our cat grabbed one and placed it in his litterbox. Evidently even pets know how shit they are.
I had a dream where Steve Carrell gave me candy, and a limp handshake.
I'm now going to analyse this deeply, to find out what's at the bottom of my psyche:
...
...
...
Steve Carrell needs to work on his handshaking skill.
I had a dream where Steve Carrell gave me candy, and a limp handshake.
I'm now going to analyse this deeply, to find out what's at the bottom of my psyche:
...
...
...
Steve Carrell needs to work on his handshaking skill.
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