"King Crimson are so repetitive and boring"

AKA Why My Sister Has Absolutely No Clue About Music

A lecturer was discussing plagiarism. (In the spirit of the topic, this is paraphrased slightly as I can't remember the actual sentence anyway.) "Of course you shouldn't only be worried about getting caught. As Newcastle students you have some ethics."

Tim Chaston: "Except the business students."

Naz: also I am legitimately concerned
Hos: I thought that said constipated

There was an article about Obama defending Israel. "Wow, Obama actually mentioned a political issue."

"The uni should set up a WAP for security."
"Just wap on a WAP."

On sniffing cappucino powder, "I hate it when I sniff powder."
"Especially when it's unintentional."

My Science-Statistics lecturer drew a diagram. There was a large circle, representing the demographic surveyed, with a bunch of little dots in it representing the individual people within. To illustrate her point she circled one of the dots and drew a line, but the line was wobbly, so it looked like a sperm entering an egg. I LOLLED

"megacrap.psd"

I have a (possibly short) lecturer called Chris who said the drawing of a monkey in his slideshow was his self-portrait.

A double-bass/keyboard duo played some awesomeness at the Shortland Hub.

There was a story in the newspaper Morgansan was reading about a neurotic woman who killed her husband with an antique knife. "That'd devalue the antique."

According to Hosford, he has a lecturer with the initials MDK.

The guy who was delivering Merry's beverage didn't know where he was and the coffeeshop girl said "No he's the beautiful one, that way," indicating where he sat.
"He is beautiful," was the reply.

In preparation for the Olympics, Sam and I played 'flick the Solo lid between the Solo bottle (5% lemon!) and the chips cup'.

"It'd be a lot better if real koalas were filled with caramel too."

"I'm not a medical expert but I watched this show once" - business lecturer

"Well, they say you are what you eat!"
"Then you're 5% lemon."

--

Lecturer Chris: "I get third-year design students who still are disorganised and name their files 'shit1' or 'shit2' or 'megacrap'."

"He used that...ironing thing?" "An iron."

I left my Canterbury Bulldogs thongs in the laundry, and our cat grabbed one and placed it in his litterbox. Evidently even pets know how shit they are.

I had a dream where Steve Carrell gave me candy, and a limp handshake.

I'm now going to analyse this deeply, to find out what's at the bottom of my psyche:

...

...

...

Steve Carrell needs to work on his handshaking skill.

"No more wallaby robots" - actual headline

"The Newcastle Knights came to watch me play football"
"In Soviet Russia, Knights watch you play!"

"Look at that 'Hertz' van. I bet if someone got run over by it, it would hertz."

*at 'White Hot Chocolate' on menu* "Do you reckon that's hot chocolate that's white, or chocolate so hot that it's white hot?"

Apparently John Butler is the only dreadlocked artist to win an ARIA. Each time I see a dreadlocked musician I remind them of this.

Lleyton Hewitt's Mother

I went to a Hosford-approved 18th party the other couple of days. Highlights include;

-a Dream Theater fan telling King Crimson to stop being pretentious
-Hosford knocking over beverages onto the Trivial Pursuit board TWICE (the first time he ruined my champagne/lollysnake cocktail)
-singing along to Hocus Pocus' "Focus"
-a running joke involving Jim Kaston

"Who won 2 gold medals in the 2000 Olympics?" "Jim Kaston."

"Who was Mark Phillipousis' date during Wimbledon?" "Jim Kaston!"

"Want cake?" *brandishing large knife*

"Who does Bernie Taupin write lyrics for?"
"I don't know!"

*on Tiny Dancer being played* "Hey, it's Elton John! With lyrics by Bernie Taupin!"

"Who wrote most of the soundtrack to Lion King?"
"Elton John. With lyrics by Bernie Taupin!"
"...wasn't that Tim Rice?"

"What was the largest object ever to have been carried by plane?" "Jim Kaston!"

Apologies to Jim Kaston.

Now, for this draft post to shapeshift into form of...published post!

*DWAYNE*

Secret Government Recording of an MSN Conversation

Naz: Dammit
Naz: I wanna update zweibrick
Naz: but I have no material
Naz: ok tomorrow I'll be hilarious funny
Hos: yeah
Hos: what genre of funny?
Naz: I just told you, hilarious funny
Naz: Dick.

"DOUBLE BASS?!?!"

Bob Loblaw's Law Blog

Mansell: Some guy asked me what my last name was, so I said "Rodriguez". "Really?" "No!"

That little kid Connor or whatever, let's call him Brian, was singing to the radio. Which would be forgivable if it were King Crimson on the radio (hint: it's never forgivable). So Rodriguez said "Don't sing to the radio it makes you look like a [Performing Arts school] kid."

I laughed.

Connor went "Why are you laughing, didn't you go to that school?"

We all laughed.

After clearing up his confusion, Rodriguez elaborated. "You know how you can tell he didn't go to [Performing Farts school]? Coz he's going to uni now."

"Why don't you guys sit up the back? You're both older than [whoever sits up the back]."

Rodriguez: "You know how in the 50's blacks sat up the back coz they were said to be inferior? Same thing." (Except for the whole 'they weren't inferior' thing.)

Hi Chris! I saw a guy who looked like you. Unless you aren't Chris.