infracture

Apparently I'm the type of guy you'd walk off the footpath to avoid late at night.

"I was looking at the prices of saxophones, they are so expensive! But I really want one."
"Sam's desperate for sax."

"I touched his penis...with my mouth" - Jenny

"I'm too angry for fart jokes"

Apparently some guy is getting renowned as the new Bob Dylan, minus the politics.

Hos: It's like
Hos: There's nothing else
Hos: Bob Dylan IS politics
Hos: Bob Dylan without politics is simply =
Hos: great compliment
Hos: "this person is sheer and pure nothingness"
Hos: "Dave you are bob dylan minus the politics"
Naz: yeah fat slag
Hos: Bob Dylan - politics = John Cage

"[Porcupine Tree]'s not heavy enough though"
"If I want heavy I'll just put on Meshuggah...

...to go with Mepeppah"


"Wow you've just given me my worst fear. That removalists will steal the entirety of everything we own."

Opposite Day is a Blockable Offense

The Opening Ceremony is so much more exciting when you know that if anyone makes a mistake they'll get executed.

"Dammit I shouldn't read philosophy before bed"

"I'm going to give you my daily tip"
"This isn't gonna be like last time you offered me your tip? I'm not putting that in my mouth again"

Hosfordfucius say, "The Chinese are good organisers. Indeed you have to be to kill so many."

I find the totalitarian regimes put on the good shows. They can't just go "hey we treat our people well", they have to put some effort into looking good.

Hos: The Mongols made it to Peking
Naz: THEY BREACHED THE WALL

"Swaziland!"
"I'm a neo-swazi"

Hos: And now I've burned my troats [copulating] HELL!
Naz: troats!
Naz: are they all on fire going "Save us [Hosford]"
Naz: and you're like "no! not my faithful troats!" and grab a waterhose

Overthrow your brain!

"Sam's waited too long for sax."

"Don't pull the...whatever." - Sam, after an attempt to remove his shoelace

"Put 'sex' in the by" - a quote from a Uni teacher

Lecturer: "Sentence completion tests, they're pretty self-explanatory," followed by a detailed explanation.

Business Decision Making = learning when to say "none of your business"

The Stapler Incident

"At least two of my uni classes have 10 minutes set aside in the first session to teach you how to log onto the computers. Seems the Bachelor of IT is very thorough."

"I only realised today the Auchmuty library is pronounced 'archimede'. That's kind of like pronouncing Aristotle 'ovusplantface'."

"She's adamant."
"I'm Adam Ant."

"I have an 80% chance of passing this statistics class. But...I could just be really bad at statistics."

Apparently Joe's brother (who is at least as awesome as Joe) is working at a hotel in Sydney, and is a bilingual dude who talks to the international guests. Anyway, he only speaks French, but since he was the only bilingual person on duty when this frantic Japanese man came in, he was called down to try and figure it out.

So this Japanese man was really distressed and kept repeating the same sentence over and over, Joe's brother randomly guessed and pointed at the toilets...which was what the Japanese man was demanding! He should go on that show "The One", except he's not crap.

I was the second person to make an entendre about Tom's joystick-themed screenname. Yeah!

Naz: so what was it you were going to say?
Naz: that you are a rocket man?
Naz: that the owner of a lonely heart is much better than the owner of a broken heart? Coz someone else already said that.

What I Learned from the New Batman Movie

Batman has a lisp.

Gary Oldman has a glorious moustache.

The Joker is a crossdresser.

The US government should hire Batman to do their civilian spying.

William Fichtner kicks ass no matter what movie he's in.

"King Crimson are so repetitive and boring"

AKA Why My Sister Has Absolutely No Clue About Music

A lecturer was discussing plagiarism. (In the spirit of the topic, this is paraphrased slightly as I can't remember the actual sentence anyway.) "Of course you shouldn't only be worried about getting caught. As Newcastle students you have some ethics."

Tim Chaston: "Except the business students."

Naz: also I am legitimately concerned
Hos: I thought that said constipated

There was an article about Obama defending Israel. "Wow, Obama actually mentioned a political issue."

"The uni should set up a WAP for security."
"Just wap on a WAP."

On sniffing cappucino powder, "I hate it when I sniff powder."
"Especially when it's unintentional."

My Science-Statistics lecturer drew a diagram. There was a large circle, representing the demographic surveyed, with a bunch of little dots in it representing the individual people within. To illustrate her point she circled one of the dots and drew a line, but the line was wobbly, so it looked like a sperm entering an egg. I LOLLED

"megacrap.psd"

I have a (possibly short) lecturer called Chris who said the drawing of a monkey in his slideshow was his self-portrait.

A double-bass/keyboard duo played some awesomeness at the Shortland Hub.

There was a story in the newspaper Morgansan was reading about a neurotic woman who killed her husband with an antique knife. "That'd devalue the antique."

According to Hosford, he has a lecturer with the initials MDK.

The guy who was delivering Merry's beverage didn't know where he was and the coffeeshop girl said "No he's the beautiful one, that way," indicating where he sat.
"He is beautiful," was the reply.

In preparation for the Olympics, Sam and I played 'flick the Solo lid between the Solo bottle (5% lemon!) and the chips cup'.

"It'd be a lot better if real koalas were filled with caramel too."

"I'm not a medical expert but I watched this show once" - business lecturer

"Well, they say you are what you eat!"
"Then you're 5% lemon."

--

Lecturer Chris: "I get third-year design students who still are disorganised and name their files 'shit1' or 'shit2' or 'megacrap'."