Rape Tunnel

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,27574,26163227-401,00.html

"It's not the first time Whitehurst has courted controversy. In 2007 he created an installation called the Punch You In The Face Tunnel."

That's Reverend to you! says: well apparently I can forgive sins
Apocalypse Please says: hehe apparently I can forgive shins
Apocalypse Please says: which isnt of much use outside of soccer

I didn't think the headline "Man Dressed as Ninja, Waving Nunchucks Arrested" could get much better, but it did:

"Police said they arrested a man who was dressed as a ninja and waving nunchucks while yelling about wanting to beat up U.S. Sen. Joe Lieberman."

I saw a newspaper that had the headlines "Double Tragedy: Couple Killed in House Fire" and "Jets crash in Sydney". But the second headline was referring to the A-league team. I laughed.

"Matt looks like a huge douche in it. In a not-colloquial way. He looks like the world's biggest manually operated vagina sanitizer"

My sister was telling me about a dream she had:

ALLIEgator, pour être belle. says: We were watching transformers 3 and people had control of our minds
Apocalypse Please says: lol explains why I was watching transformers 3

While driving past a church on the bus, the sign said "Trouble sleeping? Come to our sermons". I'm still not sure if it was a prank or not.

Hosford says: dammit I have a penisache
Hosford says: bellyache*

Levi insinuated I had two dads.

This was the greatest line I saw in a news article a few weeks ago:

"The court heard that prior to trying to beat up the cross-dressers, the men had been involved in an altercation with a man in a Spiderman costume."

I was listening to ABC Classical, and the guy announced they were going to play two Mozart things. Afterwards he spoke, "I said before that those were two Mozarts, I accidentally played Schubert first by mistake. But would anyone have noticed anyway? ...Yeeeeaaaaaah"

Jim Kaston got a post in NUSA or something or other because no one else applied. "I'm taking over the world, one unwanted position at a time. Next stop: leadership of the liberal party."

Man Charged in Harmonica Attack

A man is facing the music after being accused of beating his roommate on the head with a harmonica. (No word yet on whether his name was David "I dropped my bass in the middle of Swallow" Groenhout.)

Levi stole Scott's dongle (his USB plug for his mouse) and passed Scott's dongle down the table secretly. I was holding Scott's dongle in full view of Scott and he didn't notice despite looking directly at me and asking where it was. Scott's dongle is small.

The "win money" question at trivia was "Which country has the three widest circulated papers in the world?" I wrote "Barack Obama Land". I almost won a prize for it except he saw I was from the winnars table and he's prejudiced so I didn't get it. Also it was probably because he'd been told he'd get cake if no one at the winnars table got a prize.

Someone at the winnars table got a prize.

After explaining "write a funny joke as your name and you win a prize", Trivia Bob added "no Chuck Norris jokes". Someone handed in a Chuck Norris joke. The awesome part is it was Scott who did it to annoy Trivia Bob.

After I made a witty riposte I did a "buh-doom-tish" on the table. Levi was impressed with my buh-doom-tish and laughed despite not hearing the joke. Now I've forgotten the joke.

People took to throwing things at Levi who was playing Chain Rxn on his laptop. Jim Kaston threw a paper box at him, which Levi threw back with ninja-quickness. It skipped off Jim's head in an awesome way.

In the bar, one of the light globes is surrounded by a modern-art see-through exoskeleton with a hole in the middle. Theo had a scrunched-up ball of paper and attempted to throw it into the exoskeleton. Hosford succeeded. It was awesome.

Overused Word in my Brick For Today: awesome
Underused Word in my Brick For Today: exoskeleton

Levi has taken to a constant stream of two dads. "Levi, stop using your laptop." "Your two dads stopped using your laptop." "Pass me my backpack." "Your two dads passed the backpack." Levi's constant two dads!

"Your two dads have taken to a constant stream of two dads."

Actual headline: Flock of Sheep Bursts Into Flames

One of the "name the song this lyric is from" questions for trivia was unknown, so I wrote "SOMETHING SHIT". It turned out to be a song by Live. So I was correct.

Levi said something (probably about two dads) so Ashleigh replied "STFU."
I said "QWAB" pulling letters out at random.
"What does that stand for?"
"Quit whining...about...bitches."
She replied "I figured the first two would be quit whining."

Joe won a trivia prize for his name "Why do I have to sit with these jerks." When it was read out he stood up, shouted "YEAAAH" and gave us the double deuce. It was ... awesome.

Woo Levi Day

Man shot horse with crossbow: police

I'm gonna get the rest of the stupid or hilarious headlines out of the way in one go:

Top Gear flying caravan stunt goes wrong
NASA finds giant ring around Saturn
Travolta lawyer recites 'A Few Good Men'
Bligh releases Commonwealth Games costs (hopefully in song form, with Carlin on backing vocals)
Dr Phil sued for brainwashing and boob groping

"Grandmaster Flash said he was going to fax us a new MP3 mix," Freestyle Games developer Kevin McSherry told ninemsn, saying he had to inform Flash it would be difficult to fax through an audio file.

"We are the fat kid in the race," said cybersecurity expert James Lewis.

Hosford's Dad just scored 75 points with the word QUACKLED playing SCRABBLE® Worldwide Darren and thousands of other people are playing on SCRABBLE® Worldwide.

Hosford's Dad: I GOT KNOW IDEA WHAT QUACKLED MEANS

When we watched Godzilla V Spacegodzilla, there was a character called Miki. At one point another character said "Oh Miki" and Jim Kaston replied "You're so fine." It blew my mind.

My sister was in a 3-way MSN convo. I ninja-struck by typing "poo" and hitting enter. Before my ninja-strike she had written "my life is the epitome of". BAHA

Sam says: off to dinner now! oooh, quickly, got a date for your party?
Dead souls says: your mother

During the movieday-of-awesome Levi brought his lightsabre. But it broke. Some say Jim Kaston broke it, but there was no magic bullet! Back and to the left. Back and to the left. Damn Kevin Costner. "Jim Kaston was framed ala Lee Harvey" I guess was the theme I was going for there.

During "Heat" Levi got bored halfway through and started leeching off my wireless internet. He went to look up how long the movie went for. "235 MINUTES! Oh wait, that's the aspect ratio." It was a pretty long movie though. When Robert Deniro started chasing Judging Amy, Hosford cheered "Finally a rape scene." Apparently this and comments of a similar nature freaked out my sisters.

During "Donnie Darko", Jim Kaston corrected one of the character's mistakes when talking about the Smurfs. Then Donnie corrected them for the same mistake.

Holy shit the last three paragraphs have started with the word "During". Screw that.

After everyone left my sister Allie queried where Levi was from because he had an accent, which was apparently similar to Chad's. Chad was on MSN so she told him this and Chad replied, "He must be a sexy man."

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