(Post 80! Time to go back to the 80s! I'm living in the 80s! My test scores are never even close to 80s! Time for some Depeche Mode)
This Wreckage says:
the wonders of invitro fertilisation
Eureka!!! says:
Lol
Seedy
This Wreckage says:
ooh yes, that was a bad pun
Turns out that's all I had on the laptop pre-2010. So, here's some bonus material, (also known as the rest of the post), some stuff from January.
ALLIEgator! says:
I told [nazza] your internet was faster than ours
he said to ask you to loan me your internet credits
kaitie bjerre says:
what?
Ellie says:
oh god
oh god
its true
time is repeating itself
holy shit
what am i gunna do
Parallel our sights says:
lol
play that 90s song "time keeps on slippin"
actually i think that was a 70s song that was covered in the 90s
find the book "So You've Found Yourself in a Time Loop"
lol
play that 90s song "time keeps on slippin"
actually i think that was a 70s song that was covered in the 90s
Ellie says:
STOP IT
FUCK FUCK FUCKKKK
Bonus link Jurassic Park
Friday, January 8, 2010
Monday, December 14, 2009
"That's a horrible nickname! That's worse than vomitface!"
"Sam's face and head only allows for a certain level of cool"
My sister Allie thought that the Blues Brothers actors were actually brothers.
"I never got that the logo for limewire was a lime" - the other sister
hosford: if al gore had a cake
hosford: not an entirely unfeasible possibility
hosford: he then ate the icing off the cake
hosford: he would go
hosford: 'OHZ SHIT THEY AINT NO CAKE NOW'
When that guy accidentally sung a Nazi song in Germany at his concert, the headline was "Nazi Furore". Awful pun. I shook my head in dismay.
I forget whether this was in the actual article or just a comment, but either way it was awesome. "The woman who had everything is dead because she wanted a slightly firmer ass"
She died because of butt-surgery!
"the guy sitting next to me on the plane thought I was insane coz I kept laughing when we experienced turbulence" - the other sister, back from Melbourne
Mum got offended when my sister said a line from The Office involving sluts. "Mum, it was a quote." "Well...I'll quote you!" Ten seconds passed. "With my hand!"
My sister Allie thought that the Blues Brothers actors were actually brothers.
"I never got that the logo for limewire was a lime" - the other sister
hosford: if al gore had a cake
hosford: not an entirely unfeasible possibility
hosford: he then ate the icing off the cake
hosford: he would go
hosford: 'OHZ SHIT THEY AINT NO CAKE NOW'
When that guy accidentally sung a Nazi song in Germany at his concert, the headline was "Nazi Furore". Awful pun. I shook my head in dismay.
I forget whether this was in the actual article or just a comment, but either way it was awesome. "The woman who had everything is dead because she wanted a slightly firmer ass"
She died because of butt-surgery!
"the guy sitting next to me on the plane thought I was insane coz I kept laughing when we experienced turbulence" - the other sister, back from Melbourne
Mum got offended when my sister said a line from The Office involving sluts. "Mum, it was a quote." "Well...I'll quote you!" Ten seconds passed. "With my hand!"
Friday, November 27, 2009
Jon Voight Throws Guy Out Window
My sister mentioned going to camp for only a week, and this witty reparté took place:
nazza: damn try and stay there another month
alliegator: TRY AND BE A LITTLE LESS GAY I'M SORRY, THATS TOO MUCH TO ASK OF YOU
nazza: coz I'm already the least gay possible for a human being
alliegator: NO BECAUSE YOU'RE SO GAY IT'D BE IMPOSSIBLE FOR YOU TO BE ANY LESS GAY
nazza: your logic fails
alliegator: NOW GO HAVE SEX WITH HOSFORD
nazza: you first
To quote an eyewitness, "she ewwed like 5 times"
Apparently scientologists auditioned a string of actresses to be Tom Cruise's girlfriend after Penelope Cruz broke up with him (she didn't want to take his last name). I'd imagine the auditions are similar to those of porn films.
...
Which is why Katie Holmes was chosen.
(on the creation of a blogspot)
alliegator: should my display name be ALLIEgator or something?
nazza: no it should be quetzacotl das gubenmeister
I'm not going to link alliegator-dingobabies blog because I can't be assed. Its url is "heychaps".
In 24 (SPOILER ALBERT) Jon Voight's character was killed off by a car bomb. He was looking at a picture of his family beforehand so Hosford and I speculated that the hotness of Jon Voight's daughter caused him to explode.
Hosford's observation on a movie he saw:
"it confirmed what I'd always known but hadn't considered for a while"
"sexual assault is so hot"
"I really want to do what they did at one point in the movie"
It may be even more disturbing in context.
I was studying Chinese philosophy for my uni exam and this line was included: "Now let's look at Zhaungzi's first story of a giant fish-bird." Wouldn't've seen that in a course about systems administration.
"One dead as Miley Cyrus tour bus crashes" I was extremely saddened, because the ONE DEAD WASN'T HER.
"I accidentally said Allie looked like stonehenge ... I meant the easter island statue"
Look at that guy
Also, this one is my ringtone
naz: one day we should totally, when i have a bass, do a jam where im on bass and guitar at the same time
naz: itd be so awesome jon voight would explode
"aah man I can't believe I screwed Levi somehow" - Hosford
nazza: damn try and stay there another month
alliegator: TRY AND BE A LITTLE LESS GAY I'M SORRY, THATS TOO MUCH TO ASK OF YOU
nazza: coz I'm already the least gay possible for a human being
alliegator: NO BECAUSE YOU'RE SO GAY IT'D BE IMPOSSIBLE FOR YOU TO BE ANY LESS GAY
nazza: your logic fails
alliegator: NOW GO HAVE SEX WITH HOSFORD
nazza: you first
To quote an eyewitness, "she ewwed like 5 times"
Apparently scientologists auditioned a string of actresses to be Tom Cruise's girlfriend after Penelope Cruz broke up with him (she didn't want to take his last name). I'd imagine the auditions are similar to those of porn films.
...
Which is why Katie Holmes was chosen.
(on the creation of a blogspot)
alliegator: should my display name be ALLIEgator or something?
nazza: no it should be quetzacotl das gubenmeister
I'm not going to link alliegator-dingobabies blog because I can't be assed. Its url is "heychaps".
In 24 (SPOILER ALBERT) Jon Voight's character was killed off by a car bomb. He was looking at a picture of his family beforehand so Hosford and I speculated that the hotness of Jon Voight's daughter caused him to explode.
Hosford's observation on a movie he saw:
"it confirmed what I'd always known but hadn't considered for a while"
"sexual assault is so hot"
"I really want to do what they did at one point in the movie"
It may be even more disturbing in context.
I was studying Chinese philosophy for my uni exam and this line was included: "Now let's look at Zhaungzi's first story of a giant fish-bird." Wouldn't've seen that in a course about systems administration.
"One dead as Miley Cyrus tour bus crashes" I was extremely saddened, because the ONE DEAD WASN'T HER.
"I accidentally said Allie looked like stonehenge ... I meant the easter island statue"
Look at that guyAlso, this one is my ringtone
naz: one day we should totally, when i have a bass, do a jam where im on bass and guitar at the same time
naz: itd be so awesome jon voight would explode
"aah man I can't believe I screwed Levi somehow" - Hosford
Sunday, November 15, 2009
shoot of gun
naz: lately ive been getting better at figuring out what unwieldy acronyms are
naz: i even invented one
naz: QWAB
naz: i made it up out of nowhere and retroactively figured out what it meant
naz: so now im gonna use it heaps
naz: see if my meme creation powers are just a fluke
naz: out of one mention of "some guy left his computer unattended so i wrote 'Hey chaps' in the dialogue window" i managed to start a 'Hey chaps' craze
hargrevious: lol
hargreenface: well
harbouringterrorists: that's queer
naz: you know what else is queer
naz: squid
hargeaves: yeah
hargreavez: she is
harqueavez: I mean
barqueavez: like
hardgraves: QWAB MAn
naz: QWAB Man would be a great superhero
I later had a conversation with Hargreaves in his constructed language which consisted of two words (at that rate he'd have a full language by 2292 (I contributed some words to the language)). I don't think he came up with a name for it though. Hargsperanto?
I think it's funny that it's perfectly legal to own a sword, but it isn't legal to carry one says:
this isn't getting my assignment done
Counterbalance this commotion says:
or is it
Counterbalance this commotion says:
if your assignment is "secretly spread a created language to some guy in his pyjamas" then youre doing about a C+
I was reading about Dr. Roger Weiner "alleged with violating the Mann Act" for using a dating site. THERE IS A MANN ACT. And it's about prostitution. Hosford quipped, "Wow. Dr Weiner violated Mann."
Scott managed to take "Hey chaps" to soaring new levels. While his brother was AFK he wrote "Hey chaps" in a conversation with my sister (the one who spread the "hey chaps" phenomena far and wide).
Uh...I wrote down at some point "Peter Serafinowicz making fun of Hudson's shirt". I don't quite remember what it was, but it was awesome. Seriously, I have never seen Hudson without a Manly shirt on. Conversely he has never worn a manly shirt.
Someone told Hudson to get a new shirt. He replied "This is a new shirt." Apparently Hudson is a cartoon character, always wearing the exact same thing.
Speaking of Peter Serafinowicz, he bumped into me in the GT bar one time. Then he comically continued bumping into me. "The first time was an accident but the rest were just me being an asshole." A week later he won $300-odd with the "big trivia question". I think that proves conclusively that I am his lucky charm.
naz: i even invented one
naz: QWAB
naz: i made it up out of nowhere and retroactively figured out what it meant
naz: so now im gonna use it heaps
naz: see if my meme creation powers are just a fluke
naz: out of one mention of "some guy left his computer unattended so i wrote 'Hey chaps' in the dialogue window" i managed to start a 'Hey chaps' craze
hargrevious: lol
hargreenface: well
harbouringterrorists: that's queer
naz: you know what else is queer
naz: squid
hargeaves: yeah
hargreavez: she is
harqueavez: I mean
barqueavez: like
hardgraves: QWAB MAn
naz: QWAB Man would be a great superhero
I later had a conversation with Hargreaves in his constructed language which consisted of two words (at that rate he'd have a full language by 2292 (I contributed some words to the language)). I don't think he came up with a name for it though. Hargsperanto?
I think it's funny that it's perfectly legal to own a sword, but it isn't legal to carry one says:
this isn't getting my assignment done
Counterbalance this commotion says:
or is it
Counterbalance this commotion says:
if your assignment is "secretly spread a created language to some guy in his pyjamas" then youre doing about a C+
I was reading about Dr. Roger Weiner "alleged with violating the Mann Act" for using a dating site. THERE IS A MANN ACT. And it's about prostitution. Hosford quipped, "Wow. Dr Weiner violated Mann."
Scott managed to take "Hey chaps" to soaring new levels. While his brother was AFK he wrote "Hey chaps" in a conversation with my sister (the one who spread the "hey chaps" phenomena far and wide).
Uh...I wrote down at some point "Peter Serafinowicz making fun of Hudson's shirt". I don't quite remember what it was, but it was awesome. Seriously, I have never seen Hudson without a Manly shirt on. Conversely he has never worn a manly shirt.
Someone told Hudson to get a new shirt. He replied "This is a new shirt." Apparently Hudson is a cartoon character, always wearing the exact same thing.
Speaking of Peter Serafinowicz, he bumped into me in the GT bar one time. Then he comically continued bumping into me. "The first time was an accident but the rest were just me being an asshole." A week later he won $300-odd with the "big trivia question". I think that proves conclusively that I am his lucky charm.
Friday, October 23, 2009
Rape Tunnel
http://www.news.com.au/story/0,27574,26163227-401,00.html
"It's not the first time Whitehurst has courted controversy. In 2007 he created an installation called the Punch You In The Face Tunnel."
That's Reverend to you! says: well apparently I can forgive sins
Apocalypse Please says: hehe apparently I can forgive shins
Apocalypse Please says: which isnt of much use outside of soccer
I didn't think the headline "Man Dressed as Ninja, Waving Nunchucks Arrested" could get much better, but it did:
"Police said they arrested a man who was dressed as a ninja and waving nunchucks while yelling about wanting to beat up U.S. Sen. Joe Lieberman."
I saw a newspaper that had the headlines "Double Tragedy: Couple Killed in House Fire" and "Jets crash in Sydney". But the second headline was referring to the A-league team. I laughed.
"Matt looks like a huge douche in it. In a not-colloquial way. He looks like the world's biggest manually operated vagina sanitizer"
My sister was telling me about a dream she had:
ALLIEgator, pour être belle. says: We were watching transformers 3 and people had control of our minds
Apocalypse Please says: lol explains why I was watching transformers 3
While driving past a church on the bus, the sign said "Trouble sleeping? Come to our sermons". I'm still not sure if it was a prank or not.
Hosford says: dammit I have a penisache
Hosford says: bellyache*
Levi insinuated I had two dads.
This was the greatest line I saw in a news article a few weeks ago:
"The court heard that prior to trying to beat up the cross-dressers, the men had been involved in an altercation with a man in a Spiderman costume."
I was listening to ABC Classical, and the guy announced they were going to play two Mozart things. Afterwards he spoke, "I said before that those were two Mozarts, I accidentally played Schubert first by mistake. But would anyone have noticed anyway? ...Yeeeeaaaaaah"
Jim Kaston got a post in NUSA or something or other because no one else applied. "I'm taking over the world, one unwanted position at a time. Next stop: leadership of the liberal party."
Man Charged in Harmonica Attack
A man is facing the music after being accused of beating his roommate on the head with a harmonica. (No word yet on whether his name was David "I dropped my bass in the middle of Swallow" Groenhout.)
Levi stole Scott's dongle (his USB plug for his mouse) and passed Scott's dongle down the table secretly. I was holding Scott's dongle in full view of Scott and he didn't notice despite looking directly at me and asking where it was. Scott's dongle is small.
The "win money" question at trivia was "Which country has the three widest circulated papers in the world?" I wrote "Barack Obama Land". I almost won a prize for it except he saw I was from the winnars table and he's prejudiced so I didn't get it. Also it was probably because he'd been told he'd get cake if no one at the winnars table got a prize.
Someone at the winnars table got a prize.
After explaining "write a funny joke as your name and you win a prize", Trivia Bob added "no Chuck Norris jokes". Someone handed in a Chuck Norris joke. The awesome part is it was Scott who did it to annoy Trivia Bob.
After I made a witty riposte I did a "buh-doom-tish" on the table. Levi was impressed with my buh-doom-tish and laughed despite not hearing the joke. Now I've forgotten the joke.
People took to throwing things at Levi who was playing Chain Rxn on his laptop. Jim Kaston threw a paper box at him, which Levi threw back with ninja-quickness. It skipped off Jim's head in an awesome way.
In the bar, one of the light globes is surrounded by a modern-art see-through exoskeleton with a hole in the middle. Theo had a scrunched-up ball of paper and attempted to throw it into the exoskeleton. Hosford succeeded. It was awesome.
Overused Word in my Brick For Today: awesome
Underused Word in my Brick For Today: exoskeleton
Levi has taken to a constant stream of two dads. "Levi, stop using your laptop." "Your two dads stopped using your laptop." "Pass me my backpack." "Your two dads passed the backpack." Levi's constant two dads!
"Your two dads have taken to a constant stream of two dads."
Actual headline: Flock of Sheep Bursts Into Flames
One of the "name the song this lyric is from" questions for trivia was unknown, so I wrote "SOMETHING SHIT". It turned out to be a song by Live. So I was correct.
Levi said something (probably about two dads) so Ashleigh replied "STFU."
I said "QWAB" pulling letters out at random.
"What does that stand for?"
"Quit whining...about...bitches."
She replied "I figured the first two would be quit whining."
Joe won a trivia prize for his name "Why do I have to sit with these jerks." When it was read out he stood up, shouted "YEAAAH" and gave us the double deuce. It was ... awesome.
Woo Levi Day
"It's not the first time Whitehurst has courted controversy. In 2007 he created an installation called the Punch You In The Face Tunnel."
That's Reverend to you! says: well apparently I can forgive sins
Apocalypse Please says: hehe apparently I can forgive shins
Apocalypse Please says: which isnt of much use outside of soccer
I didn't think the headline "Man Dressed as Ninja, Waving Nunchucks Arrested" could get much better, but it did:
"Police said they arrested a man who was dressed as a ninja and waving nunchucks while yelling about wanting to beat up U.S. Sen. Joe Lieberman."
I saw a newspaper that had the headlines "Double Tragedy: Couple Killed in House Fire" and "Jets crash in Sydney". But the second headline was referring to the A-league team. I laughed.
"Matt looks like a huge douche in it. In a not-colloquial way. He looks like the world's biggest manually operated vagina sanitizer"
My sister was telling me about a dream she had:
ALLIEgator, pour être belle. says: We were watching transformers 3 and people had control of our minds
Apocalypse Please says: lol explains why I was watching transformers 3
While driving past a church on the bus, the sign said "Trouble sleeping? Come to our sermons". I'm still not sure if it was a prank or not.
Hosford says: dammit I have a penisache
Hosford says: bellyache*
Levi insinuated I had two dads.
This was the greatest line I saw in a news article a few weeks ago:
"The court heard that prior to trying to beat up the cross-dressers, the men had been involved in an altercation with a man in a Spiderman costume."
I was listening to ABC Classical, and the guy announced they were going to play two Mozart things. Afterwards he spoke, "I said before that those were two Mozarts, I accidentally played Schubert first by mistake. But would anyone have noticed anyway? ...Yeeeeaaaaaah"
Jim Kaston got a post in NUSA or something or other because no one else applied. "I'm taking over the world, one unwanted position at a time. Next stop: leadership of the liberal party."
Man Charged in Harmonica Attack
A man is facing the music after being accused of beating his roommate on the head with a harmonica. (No word yet on whether his name was David "I dropped my bass in the middle of Swallow" Groenhout.)
Levi stole Scott's dongle (his USB plug for his mouse) and passed Scott's dongle down the table secretly. I was holding Scott's dongle in full view of Scott and he didn't notice despite looking directly at me and asking where it was. Scott's dongle is small.
The "win money" question at trivia was "Which country has the three widest circulated papers in the world?" I wrote "Barack Obama Land". I almost won a prize for it except he saw I was from the winnars table and he's prejudiced so I didn't get it. Also it was probably because he'd been told he'd get cake if no one at the winnars table got a prize.
Someone at the winnars table got a prize.
After explaining "write a funny joke as your name and you win a prize", Trivia Bob added "no Chuck Norris jokes". Someone handed in a Chuck Norris joke. The awesome part is it was Scott who did it to annoy Trivia Bob.
After I made a witty riposte I did a "buh-doom-tish" on the table. Levi was impressed with my buh-doom-tish and laughed despite not hearing the joke. Now I've forgotten the joke.
People took to throwing things at Levi who was playing Chain Rxn on his laptop. Jim Kaston threw a paper box at him, which Levi threw back with ninja-quickness. It skipped off Jim's head in an awesome way.
In the bar, one of the light globes is surrounded by a modern-art see-through exoskeleton with a hole in the middle. Theo had a scrunched-up ball of paper and attempted to throw it into the exoskeleton. Hosford succeeded. It was awesome.
Overused Word in my Brick For Today: awesome
Underused Word in my Brick For Today: exoskeleton
Levi has taken to a constant stream of two dads. "Levi, stop using your laptop." "Your two dads stopped using your laptop." "Pass me my backpack." "Your two dads passed the backpack." Levi's constant two dads!
"Your two dads have taken to a constant stream of two dads."
Actual headline: Flock of Sheep Bursts Into Flames
One of the "name the song this lyric is from" questions for trivia was unknown, so I wrote "SOMETHING SHIT". It turned out to be a song by Live. So I was correct.
Levi said something (probably about two dads) so Ashleigh replied "STFU."
I said "QWAB" pulling letters out at random.
"What does that stand for?"
"Quit whining...about...bitches."
She replied "I figured the first two would be quit whining."
Joe won a trivia prize for his name "Why do I have to sit with these jerks." When it was read out he stood up, shouted "YEAAAH" and gave us the double deuce. It was ... awesome.
Woo Levi Day
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Man shot horse with crossbow: police
I'm gonna get the rest of the stupid or hilarious headlines out of the way in one go:
Top Gear flying caravan stunt goes wrong
NASA finds giant ring around Saturn
Travolta lawyer recites 'A Few Good Men'
Bligh releases Commonwealth Games costs (hopefully in song form, with Carlin on backing vocals)
Dr Phil sued for brainwashing and boob groping
"Grandmaster Flash said he was going to fax us a new MP3 mix," Freestyle Games developer Kevin McSherry told ninemsn, saying he had to inform Flash it would be difficult to fax through an audio file.
"We are the fat kid in the race," said cybersecurity expert James Lewis.
Hosford's Dad just scored 75 points with the word QUACKLED playing SCRABBLE® Worldwide Darren and thousands of other people are playing on SCRABBLE® Worldwide.
Hosford's Dad: I GOT KNOW IDEA WHAT QUACKLED MEANS
When we watched Godzilla V Spacegodzilla, there was a character called Miki. At one point another character said "Oh Miki" and Jim Kaston replied "You're so fine." It blew my mind.
My sister was in a 3-way MSN convo. I ninja-struck by typing "poo" and hitting enter. Before my ninja-strike she had written "my life is the epitome of". BAHA
Sam says: off to dinner now! oooh, quickly, got a date for your party?
Dead souls says: your mother
During the movieday-of-awesome Levi brought his lightsabre. But it broke. Some say Jim Kaston broke it, but there was no magic bullet! Back and to the left. Back and to the left. Damn Kevin Costner. "Jim Kaston was framed ala Lee Harvey" I guess was the theme I was going for there.
During "Heat" Levi got bored halfway through and started leeching off my wireless internet. He went to look up how long the movie went for. "235 MINUTES! Oh wait, that's the aspect ratio." It was a pretty long movie though. When Robert Deniro started chasing Judging Amy, Hosford cheered "Finally a rape scene." Apparently this and comments of a similar nature freaked out my sisters.
During "Donnie Darko", Jim Kaston corrected one of the character's mistakes when talking about the Smurfs. Then Donnie corrected them for the same mistake.
Holy shit the last three paragraphs have started with the word "During". Screw that.
After everyone left my sister Allie queried where Levi was from because he had an accent, which was apparently similar to Chad's. Chad was on MSN so she told him this and Chad replied, "He must be a sexy man."
...
Top Gear flying caravan stunt goes wrong
NASA finds giant ring around Saturn
Travolta lawyer recites 'A Few Good Men'
Bligh releases Commonwealth Games costs (hopefully in song form, with Carlin on backing vocals)
Dr Phil sued for brainwashing and boob groping
"Grandmaster Flash said he was going to fax us a new MP3 mix," Freestyle Games developer Kevin McSherry told ninemsn, saying he had to inform Flash it would be difficult to fax through an audio file.
"We are the fat kid in the race," said cybersecurity expert James Lewis.
Hosford's Dad just scored 75 points with the word QUACKLED playing SCRABBLE® Worldwide Darren and thousands of other people are playing on SCRABBLE® Worldwide.
Hosford's Dad: I GOT KNOW IDEA WHAT QUACKLED MEANS
When we watched Godzilla V Spacegodzilla, there was a character called Miki. At one point another character said "Oh Miki" and Jim Kaston replied "You're so fine." It blew my mind.
My sister was in a 3-way MSN convo. I ninja-struck by typing "poo" and hitting enter. Before my ninja-strike she had written "my life is the epitome of". BAHA
Sam says: off to dinner now! oooh, quickly, got a date for your party?
Dead souls says: your mother
During the movieday-of-awesome Levi brought his lightsabre. But it broke. Some say Jim Kaston broke it, but there was no magic bullet! Back and to the left. Back and to the left. Damn Kevin Costner. "Jim Kaston was framed ala Lee Harvey" I guess was the theme I was going for there.
During "Heat" Levi got bored halfway through and started leeching off my wireless internet. He went to look up how long the movie went for. "235 MINUTES! Oh wait, that's the aspect ratio." It was a pretty long movie though. When Robert Deniro started chasing Judging Amy, Hosford cheered "Finally a rape scene." Apparently this and comments of a similar nature freaked out my sisters.
During "Donnie Darko", Jim Kaston corrected one of the character's mistakes when talking about the Smurfs. Then Donnie corrected them for the same mistake.
Holy shit the last three paragraphs have started with the word "During". Screw that.
After everyone left my sister Allie queried where Levi was from because he had an accent, which was apparently similar to Chad's. Chad was on MSN so she told him this and Chad replied, "He must be a sexy man."
...
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