This collection of headlines all appeared on the one night.
"Drink-drive killer drink drives again"
"Man dies after fall into chocolate vat"
"Woman stabs lover, sets wedding date"
I'm guessing that he fell into the vat, managed to escape, then got run over by a drink-driver the next day.
"Trivium's one good idea died of loneliness"
N: I once got imposed by a jehovahs witness at my front door
N: I only realised afterwards I should've gone "no thanks I'm in the middle of a satanic ritual"
H: it's more fun if you're naked
H: you could always say "can you come back later? I'm in the middle of an orgy"
N: "ah good, the heathens I ordered"
N: "sorry, I'm in the witness protection program"
"John Stossel's moustache could never be damp" - random lyric generator
News report on a footy player: "A short time later he was discovered to have defecated in a hallway."
"I, for one, have never had the experience of being a pelican" - singing trainer dude who was an athlete
...I'm beginning to see a pattern.
Of course, that's because I'm about to fall unconscious.
"I'll serenade her ducky face with my fist"
1 comment:
I didn't know mr duckface played for the Roosters.
Damn Mit Hatscon misappropriating that joke. I will hit him in the face with his incorrectness.
JUST LIKE THAT BALL AHAHAHA AAH.
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