69th post!
I got an email, "Win a Gisbon SG Special Guitar signed by Jet". That's kinda like going, "Win the original painting of Geurnica, covered with dog shit!"
In philosophy we were discussing hedonism, the belief that bodily pleasure is the route to a good life. This guy spoke up and said, "So there's wisdom in being a slut?"
The teacher apprehensively agreed.
"So my sister isn't as ditzy as I thought."
I have a new musical aphorism, "Making shit up half the time is awesome". The awesome thing is, one of Confucius' teachings said pretty much exactly the same thing except classier.
"Is Jason Gillespie substitutable for penis"
"How do you feel about some other guy lying on top of your wife" - Dr Phil
Here's something no one will understand except me: Dr Feelgood doing the Hammer shuffle.
"I broke something in my pants"
My sister and I were watching an episode of South Park involving Mr Hankey. At one point mum came over to watch. After sitting through most of the episode she queried, "Is that a talking shit?"
Great News Article Openings:
A Gainesville father has been arrested for hitting his daughter with a pizza slice.
No one'll steal jokes from this update!
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1 comment:
Wow this is one of the five greatest updates of all time.
It has your EPIC JET TRIVIA JOKE WHICH FAILED and the sweet aphorism and Dr Phil and his handledick moustache and the pizza slice guy.
Imagine substituting different people for different anecdotes in this post.
My sister and I were watching an episode of South Park involving Dr Phil. At one point mum came over to watch. After sitting through most of the episode she queried, "Is that a talking shit?"
Is Confucius substitutable for penis?
Jason Gillespie has been arrested for hitting his daughter with a Gisbon SG Special Guitar signed by Jet.
Man I'd pay to see that last one.
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