Steve Hackett Lawnmower Impersonation

"If I saw JD Fortuna in the street, I'd give him a noose, a belt, viagra and lubricant as a present"

Wine is paradoxical!

naz: I finally have Magma on this computer
hos: I have a rash

I was reading about transubstantiation. This gave me an idea, we should get a bunch of breadsticks and arrange them in the shape of a man. Surely the second coming of Christ is nigh.

"I had an idea, for [song] 'Lawn', of using my Steve Hackett lawnmower impersonation"
"ahahaha, my first image there was totally unrelated to I Know What I Like"

"I want it to magically appear in the fridge"

"Sam said that Tommy was a mess...he said that too, about Abbey Road, 'it's a mess' "
"Tell Sam his pubic hairs are a mess"

Hos: I really want to [do bad, bad things] to Kari Byron the Mythbusters girl
Naz: yeah
Naz: you'd get massive nerdrespect
Naz: and get to hang out with that rednut guy
Naz: "I'll bust her myth all night long"

Wow I just realised why Sting is called Sting. No wait I didn't. "The police pull a sting operation"

A Play: "On Words"
"So"
"good album"
"I liked 'Peter Gabriel' better"
"I didn't like 'Peter Gabriel' that much,
I prefer 'Peter Gabriel' "
"although 'Peter Gabriel' is quite good"
"And I haven't heard 'Peter Gabriel' so I can't judge"

Actually that wasn't a play. No wonder I failed Drama.

"good album"

"How do I pause this?" "Press the pause button"

I'm on fire tonight!

Timothy Dalton gets no respect

"Do you have [Zaar]?"
"Yeah"
"That's an epic song, I have it on DVD, it sounds great in 5.1"
"You're dreaming"

That joke requires so much context. And by so much I mean last week's update.

"Melt is generally the best, but I'm more fond of Scaryface"
"That's because you can relate to it"

"I'll give you A Momentary Lapse of Reason next time I see you, it's an original 1987 not one of those reissues"
"Damn those reissues with their mixing for the medium it was intended for"
"Haha, the bin"

"I realised that I'm underutilising the power of my effects pedal"
"You could be using it as a boat anchor"

"Shaun Ryder is too fat to be my messiah"

"Got a favourite Pink Floyd side project?"
"If you can call Kate Bush that"

"That was better than my planned comment
'I enjoy a wet dream every now and again' "

"We don't need a bassist to cover Nine Inch Nails, we just need a fuzzbox and throat cancer"

"This, coming from a man who dreams in 5.1 sound"

"It's the best animal secretion I've ever tasted" - Hosford on Milk

"I came up with the best pickup line..."
"Everyone you know sucks"

Naz: baha why is Sky News talking about political leaders' buffness?
Harg: that never would've happened in Thatcher's day
Naz: "what's behind her iron curtain? Find out on Sky News up late - uncensored!"
Harg: haha
Naz: I'd invade her falklands
Harg: you disgust me

Gina Reilly impersonating Freddie Mercury is the most traumatic thing I've ever witnessed. Coincidentally, Gina Reilly with chest hair is the most traumatic thing I've ever witnessed.

Some guy on IMDB Forums said "Maggie Gyllenhaal looks like a foot."

I spent Christmas with my cousins, who had recently got Guitar Hero. The only song they could play properly was Eye of the Tiger. We ended up playing for about 8 hours. Yeah...I never want to hear Eye of the Tiger ever again.

"You're a failure. I'd give you a failure test but I know you'd fail."

Naz: some product was sitting in a box on the sink table
Naz: and it said "shower power" on it
Naz: and I started laughing

"My maths is RUINED I say"
"Ruined all over your pants"

Things I Learned from the Dark Knight DVD

Hans Zimmer is totally awesome at composing things.

Consequently, he should join King Crimson.

The bat-bike and Freddie Mercury's organ have something in common.

IMAX is freakin' massive.

IMAX is freakin' awesome.

iMax is a stupid idea for an Apple product.

I still haven't watched the "Gotham Tonight" bonus feature.

The Joker can't count.

William Fichtner is still totally kickass, only now in super fidelity (IMAX).

I ran out of jokes. IRONY