Does the U.S. President fear a Terminator-like scenario in which robots take over the world?

"Christian Bale is a drunken fool" - Allie

Cops chided for riot-shield tobogganing <- best law enforcement headline ever, the mental image confounds my mind

"I'm going to put my foot up against your ear, and it's going to have a chat!" - Nazza

I hate attributing quotes to myself. But, given that this one is so absurdly stupid, I'll give myself a pass on this one. Thanks me. No probs dude. I like your hair. Now it's getting weird.

"That doesn't make...it...sense"

n/ how much does that suck, that out of the ads shown the movie the audience was most likely to go and see was Angels and Demons

n/ i misspelled that as angles

n/ "the illuminati are suppressing the right angle!"

n/ satan is a fallen angle

n/ 66

"Christian Bale didn't discover the cure for rabies" - an overzealous commenter

I saw this headline, "Matt LeBlanc got fat", and laughed at its brevity. But really, is there a more literary way of putting it? Whoever wrote the headline was a minimalist genius. Or, some sarcastic idiot on a blog.

"Banana mulch" - Cedric Bexlar-something

After watching a movie, I was checking the music channels and Never Gonna Give You Up was playing. Megan walked in and asked, "Is the movie still on?" She thought that Christian Bale was rickrolling us.

The next Friday I was in a record store and while browsing the 12-inch singles (I'm sure there's a seedy joke in there somewhere) found Rick Astley's magnum opus. The record store rickrolled me!

(A Conversation With My Sister (WHICH ONE?!) )
"What is this, Christian Bale Day?"
"No, that's the 30th."
"It's creepy that you know that."

I was watching the movie eXistenZ, which is about a virtual reality game, and during a cLimacTic dRamatIc scene where Jude Law thinks his girlfriend is dying he says "I think I just lost the game." I burst out laughing and lost my cinematic immersion.

Happy Bale Day! I'll trash your lights!

Jeremy Piven playing the bongos

Parallel our sights says:
this song is really hard to play on guitar
i gave up after learning one minute
the guitarist of yes likes putting superfast crazy runs in songs that dont need them
so no matter how easy the song sound its impossible to learn fully
Ellie says:
I feel theres a message somewhere in all of that
HOLY SHIT
ITS BEEN AN HOUR SINCE I WENT TO BED
Parallel our sights says:
lol
play that 80s song "time keeps on slippin"
actually i think that was a 70s song that was covered in the 90s
Ellie says:
NOOOOOO
DON'T DO THAT

"It's bad enough he's a wranger without growing more on himself" - my sister on Seth Green's beard

Morgan says:
ooh
*oh
maybs bi or something
or just 'supportive of the gay community'
Parallel our sights says:
lol
yeah
Morgan says:
pulling a daniel mcpherson
and also, being like daniel mcpherson
ololol

One of Allison's friends had this conversation with her father:

"Hey dad, you like Glee don't you?"
"I like Glee as much as I like cancer"

He's my hero. Unless he actually meant that he really likes cancer.

"I just can't see him being creepy after having watched him poop on some guy's head" - on Myron

RJ was relaying a fun-based anecdote about how her and Jim Kaston were box-sliding down hills or something. She said, "Jim and I got in the box" and I quipped "Did you travel back in time?" Unfortunately no one heard my wit. Also, no one reading this will get it. I think that's a new record for bad jokes.

Actually, the only people who read this have seen the movie, woo. Except Allison. Take that, Allison. You also don't get the Dream Theater jokes I make all the time. Take that, Portnoy. I have a letter I need delivering. Take that, mailman.

Leftover Jokes From Last Year (part 2)

aka Leftover Jokes From Last Year II: Last Year Harder

"What are you doing Tony Abbott, get out of that skin-tight suit!" - Hosford

Even a week after Obama left China, the buzz about Wang is still going strong.

I was bored so I decided to see if I could put a full newspaper through the shredder we have. It got halfway then the shredder gave up.

Apparently the butt death was ubiquitous enough to catch my attention twice, because I have "Former Miss Argentina dies after buttock operation" written down.

n: now im drinking orange juice coz it doesnt make me worse and its giving me acid reflux

h: that's why people drink tea

n: the only tea ill drink is mr T

n: wow that sounds a bit gay

Another good headline is "Indian governor, 86, quits over sex tape". The headline forgot to mention it was a three-some that was filmed.

n: the only davis im familiar with is So What and half of btiches brew
n: the album, not like i have half of a song haha
n: "this is so progressive, its like that DT song that stops midsong"
n: i reckon thats how they actaully did pull me under
n: "we need a good ending"
n: "im too fat"
n: "lets just cut it off randomly here?"
n: "kevin moore youre a genius! we'll never fire you!"

The ruins of the WTC appeared on the news so I went "pfft...modern art."

"I was wondering why my tea tasted so crap...turns out it was lukewarm water" - Hargreaves

The sports news was showing footage of Michael Clarke accidentally getting hit in the crotch by a wayward cricket ball. As a slow motion replay was shown, commentator Tony Greig commentated "Ooh yes... ... ... Got him."

"Tara read the last Harry Potter book in like one hour the other week. I was scared, esp coz I'm pretty sure she's really dumb"

Leftover Jokes From Last Year (part 1)

(Post 80! Time to go back to the 80s! I'm living in the 80s! My test scores are never even close to 80s! Time for some Depeche Mode)

This Wreckage says:
the wonders of invitro fertilisation
Eureka!!! says:
Lol
Seedy
This Wreckage says:
ooh yes, that was a bad pun

Turns out that's all I had on the laptop pre-2010. So, here's some bonus material, (also known as the rest of the post), some stuff from January.

ALLIEgator! says:
I told [nazza] your internet was faster than ours
he said to ask you to loan me your internet credits
kaitie bjerre says:
what?

Ellie says:
oh god
oh god
its true
time is repeating itself
holy shit
what am i gunna do
Parallel our sights says:
lol
play that 90s song "time keeps on slippin"
actually i think that was a 70s song that was covered in the 90s
find the book "So You've Found Yourself in a Time Loop"
lol
play that 90s song "time keeps on slippin"
actually i think that was a 70s song that was covered in the 90s
Ellie says:
STOP IT
FUCK FUCK FUCKKKK

Bonus link Jurassic Park