Sunday, March 28, 2010

"Amongst friends, one man urinating on another is merely a parlour game" - Hosford

"I really want to make like films or TV shows so I can have the main suit-wearing big authority character say real important stuff, and end it with 'and shit':"

"Mister Jibbler, we really want you to reconsider attending this dance course. You don't fit in. I'm afraid if you don't improve we're going to let you go and shit"

"No, it has to be a serious crime show, and he's like:"

"accountable for 7 counts of rape and murder in the first degree...and shit"

I read about a man who was physically unable to play music as his terminal illness got worse, and I discussed this with a musician friend (who happens to be a drummer). For the purposes of this anecdote we'll call him...Hosford.

Coz that's his name.

He decided that terminal illness would not stop him from playing;

"I'll be Robert Carlyle man. As I die, my deadening pain all over will dim the sharper conparatively weakass fatigue cramps and pains, and I'll start just Danny DeVito busting out from being entirely numbed by the shutdown of my every bodily system.

"I feel no pain therefore I can attack Pierce Brosnan with confident vigour."

All our discussions of gardening end with him "raking the moon".

I don't know whether that's a really great joke or a really bad one.

I should be shot for being so funny. But I'm not in Belgium.

Okay that was too obscure a reference, and also I'm only a quarter Irish.

Hos:
but i guess what i'm saying in simple terms
and to semiquote dumbledore
is
Naz:
"I'm a gay wizard. Fuck you"

1 comment:

Hosford said...

This post frustrates me because it gives no indication of what my actual Dumbledore quote was.

Danny DeVito needs to catch a terminal disease.

I'm the moon. One time, I was all "oh no, the moon needs a clean" so I asked my friend Uranus to give me a shower. But he was all "No. You're the moon. I don't like your type." And den...and den he raked me. You don't rake the moon like some common leaf or tree or something. I'm the moon. And shit.