"It is also a question of art a bit...and a garden gnome"

Levi is the panacea to my rage apparently.

"Stories about playing with matches do not have happy endings." - Wikipedia

"Man I hate box" - Hosford
"Man I hate Hosford" - box

For reasons far too complicated to go into at present, Jimh came up with a new element based on four elements.

jimh -'heliarsodium'
jimh - helium, arsenic, gold, lawrencium
naz - pssh
naz - helium, arsenic, old and sodium
jimh - OLD
jimh - that'd be a great elemert
naz - one day I'll change my name to Elemert
jimh - "what's the half-life of old?" "about 25 years"

Summary of a 24 episode: "Jack got TASED (again)"

I want to see Jack Bauer go "don't tase me bro!" Then he'd shout "dammit" as they did. I would've made that joke better but there was no time! Dammit Audrey!

Some Chinese philosophy in the very course outline for Chinese philosophy:

How will my tutorial paper be marked? Your tutorial paper will be marked out of 10.

While Morgan was discussing a moot trial law thingo that was on the next day, some girl entered the conversation and asked him what he was talking about. He told her it was a class on being awesome. She said "No really, what is it." He replied it was a lecture...on being awesome. "No really." A law lecture about...how to be awesome. This was dragged out longer than necessary. Which only made it funnier.

I also met Guy B"ob"evan"s". The conversation opener was "It's really easy to take your pants off in the library." There was really no way it could get any better than that, but somehow it did.

Theo recommended I get a bouncer for my house, "the tallest person can be the bouncer."
"But James Merry never turns up to anything!"
"Okay, the tallest and biggest person can be the bouncer."
"A combination of Merry and Joe!"
"Merry and Joe piggibacking."
...
"That's hot."

also the crazy lecturer

Crazy Headlines:
"US TV Anchor calls Kevin Rudd a Serial Killer"
"Tiger Woods 'fart' video causes stink"

"That's genocide" - Jim Cramer on Kevin Rudd (no joke)

Also after I read the story about the man who killed 5 people gunning down a dance class in Pennsylvania, I quipped "it's murder on the dancefloor".

My mum was watching some horrid ghost hunter type show (she changed the channel from Conan O'Brien because she hates him because he's Irish) and this one guy was sitting out in a field of grass at night to "gather" "evidence" of paranormal activity.

He could see some things flittering about in the darkness, and it cut to a shot of him talking after the event. NO JOKE this is exactly what he said: "The first thing I thought was: is this fairy activity?"

There's a Columbian rebel group called FARC. It's awesome.

Great Youtube Quotes For the Ages: "I'VE PROBLE (sic) FUCKED YOUR MOM SON"

Some guy on IMDb asked for a script to Koyaanisqatsi. If you don't get this joke, go and get yourself goddamn cultured.

I have no idea why I was having this conversation with my sister:

"Where were you up to?" (in reading something)
" 'underaged whore' "
"You mean 'underaged slut' "

When Jimh and I were walking to the train station in Newcastle, after recording our EP in the studio, this car pulled up and the guy driving it asked us where Customs House was. We didn't know. Then as soon as they drove off I looked up and saw Customs House was across the road.

"I got the buttsex part, just not Pokémon" (I also have no idea who said this or why, it is a mystery)

When Jim Kaston was anagramming his name, he noted "the word 'homo' seems to be popping up with disturbing regularity".

I noted "It kinda worries me that my name can anagram the words 'horny' and 'oral'."

The aforementioned sister left an MSN conversation open while not on the computer, so I sat down and went to write "I suck" in the window. I accidentally wrote "I scuk".

1 says: I scuk
guy says: huh?
1 says: scuking is the new dance craze
guy says: ah k

"Heh...Fat Old Sun...do you reckon David Gilmour's dad calls him that?"

"I don't enjoy logic" - the woman in my philosophy class


Marvin the Paranoid Android says:
i won a competition to go play the new wolfenstein game at Atomic HQ
Roulette Dares says:
i won a competition "crappiest haircut ive got this year"
Roulette Dares says:
i was the only entrant
Marvin the Paranoid Android says:
gahahaha