AHMADINEJAD THROW ME A PARTY

I read a hilarious article the other day about how the President of Iran, Ahmadinejad, wants to replace the current political systems of the world with one based on "human rights". Then his aide whispered in his ear that that meant he couldn't subjugate bitches.

"Have you seen Mansell at uni yet?"
(enthusiastically) "Yeah. He tried to run me over."

I didn't know whether my Music Culture class would need any notes or writing down stuff, so I brought a few blank pieces of paper just in case. The teacher was handing out pieces of paper that we wrote our names on and folded so you could sit it at the desk and everyone could see your name. When the teacher went to retrieve the left-over paper she also grabbed my sheets of paper. My paper was stolen!

I made up for it by stealing her identity.

"YOUR FACE sleeps on a pillow!" (said by Joe to sleeping person)

Apparently Joe had a red mark on his arm since he was like 10. Randomly a few weeks ago his sister, who studied medical stuff, was all "That's a blood blister. You should pop that." It had existed since before she started studying medical stuff! It was like a brother. A red parasitic 90% blood brother. Bruce Dickinson wrote a song about it ("WE'RE BLOOD BROTHERS! WE'RE BLOOD BROTHERS! ... ... WE'RE BLOOD BROTHERS! WE'RE BLOOD BROTHERS!")

...

"WE'RE BLOOD BROTHERS!"

Man that song's chorus was repetitive.

I also took Sam's watch from him and put it on my person, and had a lively chat with him before he noticed I was wearing his watch.

"Sam, what's the time?"
Scott: "Time to get a new fence."

Coincidentally Scott is now my favourite comedian. Hmm, wait, no, that's Greg Giraldo.

Or is it?

No probably not.

Scott was also bragging that he hated Kevin Rudd before it was cool. This led Hosford on a long-winded politically-driven rant that no one understood. But, he was a good speaker so his ratings are still high.

At trivia I shouted out "mamma mia!" after an Italian-based question. The question "What's the atomic number of gold?" Levi solved this by getting out his science textbook and looking at the table of elements. There was a question about what, according to the Guinness Book of World Records, is the longest film in existence. I solved this by getting out my Guinness Book of World Records. Not really, I was awesome enough to know the answer without carrying around textbooks.

Coincidentally, I have never bought a textbook for uni. The lectures told me I would fail without a textbook. Yeah, I failed at failing! Suckers.

Hosford got a question right about Sheryl Crow. He won a voucher. He also won no one's respect.

Shit, I just realised the football's on, and I also realised this update wasn't funny. So, two birds with one stone!

BRETT STEWART AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA