"We are not Sweden" - Tim Geithner

Damn Hudson, stealing my joke. Some trivia question was all "What sport involves a stick, called a 'kip' " and I was all "Guitar Hero!" ... Then ten seconds later, after the question was repeated, Hudson goes "Guitar Hero!" and everyone heard and everyone laughed. I will avenge this.

Also, I hilariously got Jimmy Hosser's pen broke. I was trying to craftily remove one of the inks from his 4-ink interchange pen. Then Levi's friend grabbed the pen from me, and she pulled out the black and blue ink. I was emasculated! But it was chuckleworthy. Unfortunately the missing ink was discovered during trivia, not hilariously while he was trying to write something down in class.

"I love your fantasies Hosford" - Scott

Scott drew moustaches on the horses on the newspaper's front cover.

Neil Finn was in Tim's newspaper twice on consecutive days. I think Neil Finn is after me, and leaving me cryptic messages in the form of newspaper articles in which his photo appears.

"I think he had the same face the whole show" - Hoser on Sam's elation at seeing The Who live

Levi was hardcore. That was what I had written down, but I don't know how to elaborate.

Hargreaves: "speaking of public holidays, I need to have a pretend boyfriend or girlfriend so that my ex won't ask for [Friends With Benefits] on the upcoming public holiday"
Nazza: "don't want to get done in for statutory rape?"

There was this ad that really annoyed me whenever I heard it, because it had a blatant cheap knockoff ripoff Franz Ferdinand-soundalike song on it. I discovered recently, the song is actually by Franz Ferdinand.

I also have two copies of Short Circuit on DVD, because my sister couldn't find it in Target, so I went to check if it was there and she was just really stupid (it was there) so I bought it, when my sister got home she revealed she bought it at JB Hifi.

"This was the Ting Tings? I didn't realise 'cause there was no shouting." - Thim (silent h) Chastone (vocal h)

Joe told an anecdote about some crazy oblivious guy his brother knows called Merv. Some chick was hitting on Merv and said playfully "You're such an idiot sometimes!" (I presume a giggle followed.) Merv replied "Yeah, well you're a whore!"

I told Sam a stats joke, and only after I'd told him and sat back did I realise he did stats, and thus would've got it. Reading this, it may occur that I'm totally insane for telling someone a joke under the assumption I knew they wouldn't get it. Well, fuck you banana!

There's too much profanity already. Profanity should piss off.