Amnesiac says: my brain hasn't been working properly today

I laughed at a Bunnings ad again yesterday. I'm starting to worry about myself.

"Stick it in your mouth" - Scott (propositioning me)

I forgot to regale you with my genius trivia joke from last week. So here it is, in all its "[Brett Stewart] you banana" glory:

What happened to the trivia guy who didn't read out my joke?
I stabbed him when he left the GT bar.

...

He didn't read it out.

So I stabbed him!

But only metaphorically.

This week's joke got rousing applause. I felt as if I was moving in slow motion to receive my prize. Turns out, I was just walking really slowly and got reprimanded for it. It's probably the only time someone will ever say to me "Hurry up next time, we can only clap for so long."

Maybe that's what someone said to that Moonlight Sonata chick who keeps playing it too fast in the Brennan Room.

Jimmy Smitsford has made a habit of throwing scrunched up balls of paper and other oddities at the bins from afar. So far his record is 0 from 25. Yesterday he threw a ball of paper at the bin and I said "Seriously, have you actually got it in once yet?" He responded antagonistically.

When the trivia winner went up to collect his prize everyone at our table independently thought of the joke of shouting "LAPTOP". I realised just now that story has not been relayed at all to the faithful viewer, all two of you.

Last week our entire table got disqualified because Levi was using a laptop to get his joke-name and one answer. The Bob Woodward of this operation, some guy who yelled "LAPTOP" when he won, didn't actually know whether he had a laptop and just shouted it for laffs.

Anyway, the guy in the present story ended up getting disqualified, despite being a dead ringer for Peter Serafinowicz. The runner-up also got disqualified. So ironically our table won. So (illegitimately) our table has won basically every trivia arvo since the second week.

There was a photo of Des Hasler in the paper looking braindead.

Some guy walked past our table at lunch, and he was holding a rolled-up poster. He dropped it on the floor. Five seconds after he'd picked it up, Jimmy (aka JimmH) burst out laughing. While the guy was looking right at him. Words cannot describe the expression that guy had.

Jimmh was enlightening us on his gender-based thesis throughout daily discourse; paraphrased slightly "Women are either intelligent or attractive." Upon disgust by Morgan's female friend, "that girl who is Morgan's friend but isn't that girl who is Morgan's friend", aka Emily, Hosford elaborated on his verbal abstract, explaining that it wasn't a dichotomous thing, "that some women can have 50/50." At this point she constructively criticised, "Okay, stop talking now." It was awesome.[Citation needed]